Viva Espana!!! (pt 1)

I have just come back from a much needed holiday in Mallorca.

Some extra cash came our way unexpectedly so we booked a few days away on Expedia (a site which, I have to say, I would recommend to anybody who wishes to avoid the nightmare that is The Package Holiday) and then buggered off to much better weather and much larger drinks.

Getting there was a bit of a nightmare.

I didn't realise the airports pretty much close down in the wee small hours of the morning. Because of the latest terrorist threats, we were advised to get there early, only to discover the advertised tailbacks on the motorway were non-existent, and until the check-in desks opened at 3.30am, not one solitary member of staff could be found. Apart from two rather sorry-looking specimens whose expertise stretched to serving coffee. And two other guys who were playing with one of those giant floor-cleaning machines.

When we did get checked in, everything else seemed to fall neatly into place and we arrived at our destination completely knackered, but otherwise with no delays or problems, other than the fact I couldn't smoke for what felt like HOURS, which was completely rubbish.

The hotel was beautiful and thankfully, at the start of the week, devoid of English tourists. Not that I really mind my fellow countrymen but the English abroad are like a totally different species.

For some reason, none of them feel the need to speak the native language of wherever they happen to be. The ones we saw stretched to 'Hola' but anything beyond that was apparently too much hard work. If the waiter they happen to be speaking to doesn't understand them, they just keep increasing volume until they get what they want. Like saying the same thing in English louder and louder is going to somehow going to make it easier to understand. Also, they get annoyed by foreign people who don't speak English. It was painfully embarrassing for me but on the other hand, because I can speak a bit of Spanish, we got better service, bigger drinks and were treated incredibly well by the bar staff who were amazed by the fact we were willing to try and communicate in their language and weren't intent on drinking ourselves to death or trying to jump in the pool naked like most of the English that they meet apparently do.

The picture at the top is the view from the bar. I did say at some point I would attempt to add some photos to my blog so this is my very first one. Go Me! Am starting to get there with this computer malarkey.

So this is the first part of the story of my holiday. A bit more happened but I'll write about that later or this is going to end up being the longest post in the history of the Universe......