What is the Point of Snooker?
Apart from being a brilliant sleep-aid. Works better than Nytol for me!
Wednesday 29 April 2009
A Moment of Calm....
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.
I've realised (after much tortured musing) that the reason I always feel like everything has gone horribly wrong isn't actually because it has. My life is actually going fairly well. I'm happily married, I have a job that pays well and I (mostly) enjoy doing, I'm healthy (apart from the fags), I have all my limbs (touch wood), I have two cats who love me very much (as long as I remain the provider of food, water and unsolicited cuddles) and I have some marvellous and interesting friends.
What I don't have is autonomous control over everything I do.
This is the problem with having a job. You need one to pay for food, heat, a roof and all those other things it's hard to live without. I don't feel in control of my working day as ultimately, somebody else decides what I should be doing. My job is pretty great, as far as jobs go, but I don't actually want to be working for somebody else forever.
I don't really know how I'm supposed to tackle this. I'm rapidly approaching thirty and time could be an issue. As is money. However, since I had this epiphany, I've found myself moaning a whole lot less. It's like something has switched over inside my head and I don't get so angry about things these days. Being calm is very strange for me, I feel like I've been annoyed for years and suddenly, a cloud has completely lifted from above my head. I'm not sure that this is permanent but I do feel better for the moment.
The next obstacle to overcome is the hulking great one where I have to make a decision about what I want to do. And then, when I've made said decision, I'll have to actually attempt to stick to it. And not get bored and start chasing the next interesting thing that comes along five minutes later......
Could be tricky......
I've realised (after much tortured musing) that the reason I always feel like everything has gone horribly wrong isn't actually because it has. My life is actually going fairly well. I'm happily married, I have a job that pays well and I (mostly) enjoy doing, I'm healthy (apart from the fags), I have all my limbs (touch wood), I have two cats who love me very much (as long as I remain the provider of food, water and unsolicited cuddles) and I have some marvellous and interesting friends.
What I don't have is autonomous control over everything I do.
This is the problem with having a job. You need one to pay for food, heat, a roof and all those other things it's hard to live without. I don't feel in control of my working day as ultimately, somebody else decides what I should be doing. My job is pretty great, as far as jobs go, but I don't actually want to be working for somebody else forever.
I don't really know how I'm supposed to tackle this. I'm rapidly approaching thirty and time could be an issue. As is money. However, since I had this epiphany, I've found myself moaning a whole lot less. It's like something has switched over inside my head and I don't get so angry about things these days. Being calm is very strange for me, I feel like I've been annoyed for years and suddenly, a cloud has completely lifted from above my head. I'm not sure that this is permanent but I do feel better for the moment.
The next obstacle to overcome is the hulking great one where I have to make a decision about what I want to do. And then, when I've made said decision, I'll have to actually attempt to stick to it. And not get bored and start chasing the next interesting thing that comes along five minutes later......
Could be tricky......
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