Question

What is the Point of Snooker?

Apart from being a brilliant sleep-aid. Works better than Nytol for me!

A Moment of Calm....

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

I've realised (after much tortured musing) that the reason I always feel like everything has gone horribly wrong isn't actually because it has. My life is actually going fairly well. I'm happily married, I have a job that pays well and I (mostly) enjoy doing, I'm healthy (apart from the fags), I have all my limbs (touch wood), I have two cats who love me very much (as long as I remain the provider of food, water and unsolicited cuddles) and I have some marvellous and interesting friends.

What I don't have is autonomous control over everything I do.

This is the problem with having a job. You need one to pay for food, heat, a roof and all those other things it's hard to live without. I don't feel in control of my working day as ultimately, somebody else decides what I should be doing. My job is pretty great, as far as jobs go, but I don't actually want to be working for somebody else forever.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to tackle this. I'm rapidly approaching thirty and time could be an issue. As is money. However, since I had this epiphany, I've found myself moaning a whole lot less. It's like something has switched over inside my head and I don't get so angry about things these days. Being calm is very strange for me, I feel like I've been annoyed for years and suddenly, a cloud has completely lifted from above my head. I'm not sure that this is permanent but I do feel better for the moment.

The next obstacle to overcome is the hulking great one where I have to make a decision about what I want to do. And then, when I've made said decision, I'll have to actually attempt to stick to it. And not get bored and start chasing the next interesting thing that comes along five minutes later......

Could be tricky......

Oh for God's Sake!!

My Internet keeps breaking down.

It's really annoying.

I want to break things. (That aren't my computer because it might start working again if I'm nice).

Ho Hum.

At least I've had a productive day I suppose and I've actually remembered to start writing my blog again which has lapsed woefully over the last year. Which is partly because Facebook isn't working again today and won't let me do anything I want to do.

'Sigh'

Maybe this will inspire me to actually leave the house occasionally and catch up with some of the friends I've been neglecting too.

F**K IT!!
I know, I'll use my time to do something amazingly fun and exciting.

Or I could just sit here writing drivel seeing as all my creativity seems to have been completely sucked out of me. At least I know nobody's reading this, probably because I am rather erratic when it comes to remembering to post, and also because I mainly write drivel, which isn't the sort of thing I read when I've got nothing better to do. So I can't really expect anybody else to want to read it either.

I've been thinking about my life a lot recently. When I was in my teens, I really thought I'd have things sorted out by now. I was going to be rich and famous, live in a big house and not have to worry about crap stuff like bills and hanging out the washing that is currently sitting in it's basket staring at me. It hasn't quite gone according to plan although the things that have gone well have beaten my expectations by miles.

What I did think I might actually do (big house in the country and my own line of soft drinks aside) was to actually be earning money for doing fun, creative things. I regret bitterly that I've managed to sustain my complete inability to properly see anything through. And, indeed, my abject laziness, which is probably the thing that holds me back the most.

The only thing I have really sustained is my amazing ability to moan at great length about the fact that nothing seems to be working out by itself.

I don't think I can get paid for that.......