Recently I have felt like the weekends just aren't long enough....and neither are the evenings. It is odd because I have always had a full-time job and although the days of 60hr weeks are a long way behind me, at the moment it seems I am always there and just don't have enough hours left over for relaxing or a social life.
This may be because my job makes me really tired and I spend most of my time there being REALLY stressed so by the time I've got home and wound down, it is time for me to go to bed, get some sleep and then start the next day all over again....this is all well and good but by the time the weekend comes around, I have no energy (or indeed enough spare cash) left over for socialising with my family and friends.
I know I'm still a bit broken since the death of my father and that the aforementioned event left me feeling less like the party animal I once was. I also know that although I have joked about the impending doom of my thirtieth birthday (which is now less than a fortnight away) it is still true that I am perhaps a little old to be continuing to burn the candle at both ends, and in the middle....in fact I pretty much used to just take a blowtorch to the candle and melt it to nothing. When I look back at my really wild days, at the time I was working 10hr shifts 5-6 days a week and STILL managing to fit all-night clubbing sessions in so it's obviously possible, I just think that if I did it now I would be in a coma within a month.
It does make me sad that I'm always too tired to do half the things I want to do, and that time feels as if it's slipping away from me way too quickly. On the weekends that I push myself too hard or drink too much, I spend Monday morning wandering around the office looking like a George Romero extra.
I suppose that's just life and I will have to get used to it, however, it still makes me a little sad.
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